IN PROGRESS…
an essay in self-portraiture
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And In The Darkness, I Was Blinded
There was a time I was bleeding
It would never really stop.
It pulled through me like a needle piercing cloth…
Stop!
Tethered to the end of something I knew not of.
And it laid me to rest where there was no light,
and it was in that darkness I was Blinded
by the fear—the anger and hate of what I could no longer be…
Seeing only what was left behind me,
Stop!
Do not rest where you have been settled
Find within yourself an inkling of defiance,
do not go gentle
Then I Was Brought Into The Light…
So the people around me would take me by my shaking shoulders and raise me from the dust and bramble
grip me tight, and whisper to me,
“The night will be left behind you…”
Then I was brought into the light!
A place where I could breathe, start to see anew
but the light hurt my aching eyes…
I covered my face, ignoring just how far I…
I stayed, wanting to go somewhere
But my blinders had been set in place
Light is strange when for the years you’ve been in pain.
But It Was For Beautiful Souls...
Who would not give up on me
They took my hands away from my face
kissed my head, and said “you are free.”
Strange to be unshackled when that’s all I used to be…
Then I met her…
she shone like the midsummer sun,
the color yellow,
bathing the fields we used to run
when I was a child
I could not see my future.
Good.
I would’ve wanted to be surprised by her uncommonly kind grin,
her hazelnut eyes, and the moments we would sit in
Wonder!
My past is behind me, but my future is with her.
